|
 |
|
Saturday, January 19, 2008
BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.
Charlotte , North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and
expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars
and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued.. and WON! (Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the
claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a
policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable and
also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining
what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the
claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company
accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the
cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART..
After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him arrested
on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal
Lawyers Award Contest.
Posted at 10:54 am by afaa_bear
Permalink
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Untuk beberapa tahun, Ahmad Suffian telah mengadakan hubungan sulit dengan
orang gajinya,Sutina ...Suatu hari, Sutina memberitahu
Ahmad Suffian yang dirinya mengandung ...
Ahmad Suffian yang tidak mahu merosakkan perkahwinannya, telah mengambil
keputusan untuk menghantar Sutina balik ke Bandung
untuk melahirkan anak mereka di sana ...
Beliau berjanji akan menanggung segala kos untuk anak tersebut sehingga
anaknya nanti berusia 18 tahun ...
Supaya rahsia mereka berdua tidak terbongkar, Ahmad Suffian menyuruh Sutina
supaya menghantarkan sekeping poskad dengan menulis
perkataan "Mee Bandung" dibelakangnya setelah anak mereka lahir nanti ..
Ahmad Suffian akan menguruskan segala perbelanjaan untuk
anaknya setelah mendapat poskad itu nanti ...
Suatu hari, 9 bulan selepas itu, ketika Ahmad Suffian pulang dari kerja,
isterinya Norzalina menegur Ahmad Suffian dengan muka yang keliru ...
"Bang ... abang dapat poskad yang peliklah hari ni," kata Norzalina.
"Oh, tak pe ... bagi poskad tu kat Abang. Nanti abang jelaskan," kata Ahmad
Suffian.
Norzalina pun memberi poskad itu kepada Ahmad Suffian dan melihat Ahmad
Suffian membaca poskad tersebut, sebelum muka Ahmad
Suffian bertukar menjadi biru, ungu dan terus pengsan!!
Poskad itu berbunyi ...
"Mee Bandung, Mee Bandung, Mee Bandung, Mee Bandung - 2 ada telur, 2 tiada
telur. Tolong hantarkan kuah lebih ya!"
Posted at 07:15 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Friday, September 21, 2007
haha. mmg lama xberupdate blog ni kan. last skali duk citer psl team2 bola dlm epl. season lps dah abis and season baru dah start pun. sape menang season lps? mestilah team feveret aku MANCHESTER UNITED FOOTBALL CLUB. hehe. malaysia pun dah menang merdeka cup. at least tebus maruah selepas persembahan mcm cilaka masa piala asia ari tu.
ape nak citer ek? owh, kawan2 dah ramai yg grad n konvo early september ari tu. sori aku xpegi konvo korang ek. congrats to epul, eileen, acot, dham, dayat, ketor, pjang, mozaix, dude, dayu, pin wooi, wahir, haa and mashud. semua pun dah keje dah. bleh la blanje den. dham, dayat, epul, acot n pjang aku tuntut korang kena blanje aku. hahaha
ketor nak fly pegi india keje kat sana setahun. jgn ko kawen kat sana udah. qalid plak nak fly pegi (scotland, spain and france) utk sambung master die dlm bidang master of disguise. wahahaha...
owh, skarang dah ade tempat lepak baru a.k.a umah (dham, dayat, usop n azam). xperlu la lagi ke Kolej 8 kat UM tu utk melepak. haha. del sure bengang punye pasal dah xde org nak melawat die. hoho..
haha, okla. dari aku mengarut ngan lebih lanjut baik aku berenti. until next time. aku try la update weekly lps ni. ciao cin cau.
Posted at 08:40 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Thursday, January 11, 2007
helo guys.
today got 1 topic that will surely bored the likes of epul, azam,din and qalid coz those guys never really got into football. for those who likes football here are some of my thoughts so far for 4 of the big 5 in the ongoing english premiership.
1st: Manchester United FC
at the start of the season rooney showed a superb performance but after the 3 match ban he's slowly fading away in he game. recent games showed that he doesn't try to go for goals so much anymore. saha maybe is the man right now but i don't think he has what it takes to be like van nistelrooy. maybe cristiano ronaldo can be united saviour this season coz he's the top scorer for united so far. the loan move for henrik larsson is the best move sir alex has done in the past 3 or 4 years. maybe the rumour of signing torres in the summer will come true and this will surely take the heavy burden off solskjaer. the form of giggs and scholes have been impressive while the pairing of vidic and ferdinand so far have not been tested so much. carrick is improving in every game. thumbs up for united and come may i hope they'll be on top of the league.
2nd: Chelsea FC
well, the buying policy suddenly not working this season. even though mourinho said that he's a fan of ballack everybody knows that chelsea will not allow the best players go to another club in the premiership. we all know about the robben, essien and obi mikel saga. these players had come to old trafford to discuss financial to join united but suddenly change heart and join chelsea coz chelsea offer a lot of money. ballack and shevchenko also a target for united and knowing that chelsea go and get them. this of course is masterminded by none other than peter kenyon, former united staff. he's the one bringing staam, van nistelrooy and veron to united.
chelsea still have the best squad i think but their form of lately has not been very impressive
3rd: Arsenal FC
they are a young side but this should not be an excuse for wenger. he let pires go and sold vieira. maybe they are the team of the future but i don't tink that henry will win any big championship with this arsenal team. he should have left arsenal last season and go and join barcelona where he can realisticly win the champions league. if he's still playing in 7 years time than maybe he can win the champions league with arsenal. maybe their form is like a see-saw but in recent games they have been performing consistently and looking impressive with a lot of goals.
4th: Liverpool
this is the team that i hate the most. don't know why. but liverpool or should i call liverFOOLs is not as good as gerrard houllier's reds. even though they won the champions league in 2005, they have lady luck to smile at. like i said about henry, gerrard also should have left. rafa benitez never played with a same line up in about 70/80 games in a row. he said that the players need to be rested so that they are always fresh. i agree that players should be rested but try to stick with the same line up coz u need the players to understand each other better. everybody knows what happen when u tinker with the line up. rafa should know better than anyone else. his side were beaten by arsenal at anfield 2 times in a row and conceding 9 goals in that 2 games. this season total they have let in 12 arsenal goals. so for liverpool fans, for me is the time to consider the liverpool motto once more. "you'll never walk alone" is now outdated coz liverpoll now are wlaking alone.
well, this is my opinion and i try not to be bias. buhbye for now. peace out.
Posted at 12:16 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Friday, December 22, 2006
ALWAYS FUN, Being A Malaysian
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS: Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE: Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying
condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any
pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints
they start swearing at everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not
asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not
digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not
dry
yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy,stomach cramps, period, haven't remove
make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara",
depress, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never
refuse sex. (oh ya??)
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we
have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police
road block. (;-o)
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as
Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands
like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when
the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always
'Mee Lo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarassed
saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as
"rangutan".
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and
traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing
about
on the streets.~
Posted at 06:42 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Friday, December 15, 2006
Kajang, 15 Disember - Seekor kucing telah dijumpai boleh memegang 2 baldi ayan dan sedang mencuci najisnya sendiri. Menurut tuan kucing, yang tidak mahu dikenali, kucingnya yang bernama E. Lanun selalu sahaja berak merata-rata. Kucingnya yang lebih mesra dipanggil D. Botak itu akhirnya menerima pembalasan apabila dihukum oleh tuannya untuk mencuci sendiri najisnya. Tuannya berkata lagi, jikalau kucingnya berak merata-rata lagi, kucing ini akan dihantar ke penjara Ajam Galah yang menempatkan kucing-kucing bermasalah. Di Padang Varsiti UM pula, pasukan Sg. Sekamat FC telah menewaskan pasukan Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu FC dalam acara bola sepak bersempena Piala Tun Dr Abdul Fattah Ahmad Azlan dengan 5-0. Pasukan Sg. Sekamat FC yang diterajui Sir Abdul Fattah telah menjaringkan gol melalui pemain simpanan mereka, Shadowfax dari Middle Earth pada minit 1, 25, 46, 71 dan 90. Pasukan Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu FC pula mengakhiri perlawanan dengan 8 orang pemain setalah penyerang mereka Chud dibuang padang pada minit ke 15 perlawanan kerana cuba memasang bom di tiang gol lawan. Pada minit-minit akhir separuh masa pertama pula, pemain tengah Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu FC, Aizu pula dibuang padang kerana cuba memasang jerangkap samar didepan gol sendiri bagi memerangkap lawan didalamnya. Minit ke 72 pula menyaksikan pertahanan, Ah Cot dibuang padang kerana kata-kata kesat terhadap pembantu pengadil Pjang XMacho. Pengadil dari Kelantam, Damnshit terus melayangkan kad merah. Secara keseluruhannya, peramainan agak seimbang dengan peratus posession 71% Sg. Sekamat FC dan 29% Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu FC.   Sori... janji tak buat lagi. Tuan Kucing yg tidak mahu dikenali dan pemilik Sg. Sekamat FC.
Posted at 03:14 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Friday, September 22, 2006
life or something like it...
alo everybody. long time no write here, ahahahaha... it's time to clean all the mess here.
okla, just wanna tell u guys what has happen in my life for the past year. firstly, congrats to ein, qalid, and bonzer on graduating last august. sori la xdpt pegi masa korang konvo.
aku dah pun balik dr CHINA. ye aku tau ramai yg dah tau tp sebab kata blog aku ni dah berhabuk, aku tulis la gak. best gile pegi CHINA walaupun sebelum pegi dulu byk halangan yg kita dpt tp berkat kerjasama kita dpt menghadapi nye. congrats to all CSD 2006 members and especially MASHUD for getting us there. thanx bro. bile dah balik ade yg nangis2 sampai aku pun nak nangis. yela, aku masa mula2 masuk projek ni dulu, mana la kenal sgt si hong, yuk ping, grace, bi jun, bao bao, chea2, wei eng, dhaaya, ah lye, hock seng dan ramai lagi. tp bile pegi sana kita semua mcm family. hong, dhaaya ngan yuk ping byk tlg aku kat sana especially masa shopping. hahaha... kat sana ade la aku demam sket and terharu gak la bile budak2 ni amik berat gak kan. masa ni aku paling terigt kat chea2 ngan wei eng. diorang belikan aku eskem semata2 nak menceriakan PANDA ni. hahaha... oh ye, aku kat sana sebilik ngan epul. mmg keje die tido je. hahaha. sebelah bilik, din ngan qalid, ngan azam ngan acot. ini masa bulan mei tau.
masa bulan febuari plak, projek yg aku join KEJOHANAN HOKI PIALA RAJA NAZRIN SHAH 2006 telah pun berlangsung di bawah arahan sape lagi kalo bukan PIJANG MACHO. tahniah! ni pun satu projek yg byk masalah tp semua berjaya di rintangi. tiang gol sampai just b4 tournament start. tp still kena marah gak ngan hashim MHF. masa tu rasa nak terajang je hashim ni. hahaha.. masa ni la aku dpt tgk betapa budak2 aku cam si muzzamir, bani, shidan, bob, shah, sabar dan ramai lagi gila2 buat keje. sampai xtido. paeh pun ade tp sehari je psl esok nye die berangkat pegi sabah nak naik kinabalu. budak2 pompuan pun best gak masa ni. adah, dayu, munchy, qilah, wani, fana and especially EILEEN sanggup berpanas berhujan ngan kitorang laki ni. SALUTE! masa projek jln baru 1st time aku tgk pjang tensen. tp projek ni dpt ANUGERAH PROJEK CEMERLANG masa MAK 21.
mac plak, aku tlg azam utk MAK 21. aku jadi emcee buat kali kedua. 1st time masa 1st year dulu.aku jadi emcee utk dua2 fasa just like my 1st time. fasa 1 aku patner ngan sharq and fasa 2 aku partner ngan ASK.
exam ade ok ade gak yg sangkut. oh, time aku tulis blog ni pun mengingat kan aku yg dah setahun aku kenal ngan ask, wahir, delina, wendy and ramai lagi.
lastly, utk HONG FONG JIAO: good luck for CSD 2007 and EILEEN SAW BEE YEN: good luck for RAJA NAZRIN 2007 (thousands of apologies). not to forget, azam, epul, dayat, dhamiri, eileen, delina, wendy, wahir, ask, pijang, mashud and acot. semoga korang grad tahun ni.
ciao.
Posted at 09:47 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Saturday, May 13, 2006
hahaha... i'm back again everybody. it has been a very bz 2weeks for me coz
1) both my brothers had 2 be
admitted 2 the gleneagles intan medical centre becoz there had dengue
fever. alhamdulillah everything is fine now. both now back 2 their
respectives colleges. 2) csd 2006.
forgot 2
mention that my little bro, ajim got jpa scholarship 2 go 2 japan.
NIPPON GO!!! so proud of him coz he realizing my brother n my dream 2
go 2 oversea la... hoho.. gambate ajim!! but 1st, he got to prepare 4 two years in UM. aiyaa... kacau daun saja.
for dcs2006, there's fewer than a week b4 we fly 2 china. r u all ready??? i hope we have lots of fun there.
ok, thats all 4 now. later dudes....
Posted at 10:55 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Saturday, April 08, 2006
hahaha... how r u guys??? must been wondering where the hell am i. no updates 4 a long time. azam n mashud already said my blog berabuk d... kla, latest update. on the 13th n 18th of march, got college anual dinner rite. i'm the emcee for both phase. 1st phase parner with sharq an we became ah-ha team. 2nd phase partnered with ask the sengalest... n the other couple was lisya n bahar. bcoz we didn't eat 4 the 2nd phase, encik yusof blanja makan kat victoria station beb. aku sental lobster. 1st time mkn mende tu. wahir sure jeles gler... sabar ek... wakakakaka.... after MAK 2006, was my final exam for 4 papers. WXES2104 (System Analysis Design), WXES2103 (Database), WRES2101 (Internet & Intranet(klas bpk epul)) and WXES2106 (Network Technology). the first 2 paper mmg susah la... harap2 x repeat la. abis je exam kena start carik duit untuk CSD 2006. pergh, penat sey.... call sana call sini. siap kena maki lagi. pegi plak syarikat2 tertentu untuk jumpe. pastu mintak derma. ade pak cik tu (org kampung ask) citer hebat jer... bley dpt 82000 dlm masa 2 bulan. mintak bg sumbangan kata no problem. tgk2, bg rm 10 jer. bley la buat duit minyak kan ask. so far aku dah dpt RM4500. NOT BAD memandangkan aku br jer start carik sponsor 2 weeks ago. thanks 2 my beloved MAMA. kalo xde mama aku susah gak nak carik duit ni. kla, gtg. lain kali aku update lagi. for reminder, studi hard n smart utk exam 2minggu lagi n gudluck 2 all of u. to eileen, delina, wendy n wahir, buat LI elok2. jgn nak main ym ngan messengger jer... dah dpt gaji nnt bley blanja aku mkn ok. adios
Posted at 01:36 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
Message:i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in
waht
oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny
iproamtnt
tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in
the
rghit
pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and yhou
can sitll
raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is
bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh?
yaeh and I
awlyas tghuuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
if you can
raed tihs rpsoet it.
Posted at 01:23 pm by afaa_bear
Permalink
|
|
|
